What I didn't say then...

I loved you then with a passion that used to overwhelm me when you weren't around. I loved your smell, your presence, your thought.

I wish I had had the courage then to tell you that while my need for you is the magnetic force field of my life which will keep me from flying away from you, I needed the illusion of motion, of adventure and growth which I sensed I'd lose once we "settled down".

You said you would let me fly, let me dash against unrelenting stone like the sea at the beneath a cliff or a satyagrahi railing against a hard hearted police shield but I didn't believe you. I didn't even trust you enough to tell you I was afraid of being an ordinary man married to an ordinary woman living an ordinary life.

I was stupid. You didn't wait and now I'm waiting for my life's candle to snuff out because you promise me that in our next lifetime, my candle and yours will burn together. And the next time, I won't make the same mistake as I made this time.